Why Christmas is the worst time of year to have a baby... Unless you're Mary.



Discussion of Christmas consumerism is everywhere right now. Maybe it's because I don't have kids or maybe it's because I don't watch regular TV. Maybe it's because I have been so distracted by my work, I haven't had time to bask in the capitalist pageant that Christmas has supposedly become. But right now, as I sit here with Yoni and look at family pictures, that's not the part of Christmas I'm feeling. I'm pretty into Jesus all year long and while I love all of the songs and celebrations of His birth, I'm into that stuff for most of the year. I'm just SO grateful to be alive. Two years ago, that seemed like a very distant hope. Because of my family's tireless care, my doctors and nurses top flight work, because of countless prayers offered and my donor family's generosity it is a very present reality. So on this joyous eve of Christmas, I want to say two things:

1. Happy birthday Corban. I am sorry for the many times my medical craziness has high-jacked your birthday celebration today which I have done yet again by writing a post reminding everyone that on your birthday, that is what I am thinking about; 

and 

2. Thank you. Thank you so very much for your love, your support and your kindness to me and my family over the past years. 

Wishing you warmth, love and joy this holiday season!

PS. All birthday wishes for Corban are welcome. He is really great. Since either Jesus, Santa or I usually trump his celebration card, I think he deserves extra love. Also... in case you're wondering ... Corban really loves Jesus... and Narae, who he is married to. They're pretty much his favorite people in the Universe. 

Happy Birthday Jesus ... and Corban!

To warm your heart



This ad makes me want to buy the world a Coke. Stay cozy y'all!

A Mormon, A Lesbian and Baby Jesus

A word of advice: If you're invited to dinner, it's probably a bad idea to bring up abortion during the main course. Especially if the family is Mormon. But for some reason, I thought it was the right time and place to air my left-leaning views about the topic which almost a decade later, I understand is only something a rude, self righteous teenager would do. I could see the husband's face getting red. A very mild mannered man, he was finishing medical school at Johns Hopkins University. "I have been in the room during abortions and there is a darkness there." He went onto explain that from the time he was young, his parents had taken in single, expectant mothers through the birth of their children and cared for the young women until after their children were adopted and/or after they had a more secure place in the world to care for their children. 

The other night, I attended an event held by Women in Government, an organization that brings women of all political stripes together to discuss issues without the partisan rancor. I met Pat Spearman. She is a veteran, an ordained minister, a former police officer and the first lesbian ever to serve in the Nevada State Senate. I happened to sit next to her when she got a text message. It was from a 12 year old boy who was in the middle of basket ball practice. She explained that when his mother was expecting, she was on the brink of poverty. It was a choice between providing for the children she had or the financial ruin that the pregnancy and expenses of another child would bring. Senator Spearman had an idea. She told the woman that money should not be a deciding factor of whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. Ms. Spearman promised to help provide financially and emotionally for the child, which she has done for a dozen years.

Jesus sounded like the dictionary definition of an unwanted pregnancy. Despite His Father's divinity, Jesus was the bastard child of a fourteen year old, single, minority woman in the 1st century. Talk about a nightmare. Single, pregnant women were frequently stoned to death, violently ending life and the potential for it. If Mary's cousin Elizabeth wouldn't have swooped in, giving Mary food, shelter and emotional support during and after the pregnancy, who knows if the Christian world would exist, let alone have known Jesus as their Lord and Savior? 

Abortion is not a new phenomenon. It's as old as history. The missing link in the abortion debate isn't political: it's human. A study of women who receive abortions by the Guttmacher Institute suggests that almost three quarters of women do not feel financially able to care for a/nother child. Almost 50% of respondents were afraid of the implications of single motherhood. 20% felt pressure from a sexual partner or parent to end a pregnancy. Pregnancy carries enormous professional stigma and many women are fired or never rehired after taking maternity leave.  Many women facing abortion don't see a choice. They see abortion as their only real option. They don't see the possibility of a real life for their children; so why would they bring them into the world? 

It speaks volumes about the Mormon family that they continued making the lives of young women and children possible and that we are still friends. It speaks volumes about the Senator that twelve years later, she plays an active role in the young man's life that she helped save. They have different beliefs about whether or not or when abortion should be legal,* but they are doing more to address the issue of abortion than any lobbyist in Washington, any court ruling or any tirade on facebook. 

If we're pro-choice, we need to make sure women know they have options beyond professional and social stigma, unemployment and poverty. That we'll rally around if they give their baby another loving home through adoption or bring a child up themselves, despite any medical challenges that baby might face. If women or men decide to leave the workforce to care for children, we should be ready and willing to hire them when they return to employment outside of the home.  If we're pro-life, we need to try and provide children a life worth living once they exit the womb, with education, housing, health care and nurturing relationships. We need to advocate for maternity and paternity leave and work to have family friendly workplaces. 

Antiabortion legislation certainly didn't save baby Jesus. It was a friend who was willing to step in and pick up the extra slack.Who was there to love and support Mary. Elizabeth didn't tell Mary what to do. She let her come and stay until Mary and Joseph figured how to deal with this unexpected, extremely inconvenient miracle. 

So between the dinner parties and cookies of the Christmas season, take a moment to think about the Elizabeth's in the world. Whether they're a Mormon family in Salt Lake or a lesbian legislator in Nevada, they're bringing peace to the discomforted and miracles to even the worst dinner guests. 

While elective abortion is considered a serious sin, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints does not have a political position on abortion regarding its legality. For more information, visit mormon.org

Surprises


http://fast.swide.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/best-funny-Christmas-Gifs-wishes-2013-beyonce.gifI should be writing something else right now (oh hai finals. how you is?), but since I resolved to actually do my blog posts last week, I thought I'd let you know that maybe the best person ever who I haven't met (possibly with the exception of Pope Francis (*possibly*)) just dropped a surprise album about an hour ago. I don't usually get excited about this kind of stuff, but come on dude. It's Beyonce.

I've attached a couple of the 30 second sneak-peaks she put up on Youtube at midnight. When I watched them, there were still fewer than 300 views, so this is *pretty* hot off the press news. No need to thank me -- I just want to keep you hip and in the know because I've got your back and want you to be the coolest you you can be. Seriously, though. nbd.

Notes from Montreal


  

Beloved Peoples! 

Singing Christmas music with old women is also really fun. Especially when it has been transcribed by non-native English speakers. Very entertaining. Example: We were singing Frosty the Snowman at the old folks' home. You know the part, in the second verse, where it says "until the other skater's knock him down"? Well, that was delightfully translated into: "Until the alligators knock him down." - which basically means the same thing. There are many other lovely examples, I just can't remember them at the moment.

Merry Christmas! There's a really wonderful video that you should all watch. It's called "Oh Emmanuel." It has The Piano Guys? And some really beautiful footage representing the life of Christ. I'm usually not super into that stuff, but it's very uplifting - and I would encourage you all to take 5 minutes to watch it.

Also, did you catch the Christmas Devotional last night? The music was spectacular, and the talks were....not my favorite. But there was a story which really touched me. It was about a young, single mother with 6 children - during the 1800s, I think? The man speaking had read the account from the mother's journal (she was one of his ancestors). She wrote about the anguish she felt as her hopeful children hung up their stocking, full of faith and expectation for what they would find in them the next morning. She knew she didn't have anything to fill the socks with, but she combed their small house, looking for something, anyway. And as she looked she found an old squash, which we realized she could roast and boil and use to make a simple, sweet syrup. After preparing the syrup she used it to flavor a flour, cinnamon and water mixture she had concocted. She and explained that after cutting the crude dough into every shape imaginable and cooking the pieces on the stove-top (they didn't have an oven) she packed the children's socks full of the imitation gingerbread. She recounted the children's delight upon finding the cookies in the morning and explained her relief at having been able to express her love for them in some small way. I'm afraid I didn't do a very good job at re-telling the story, but it was very moving - I think mostly because it's such a clear representation of the intense love we can have for each other - and the lengths we go to in order to express that love - however meager or inadequate those efforts may appear. And during this season, it's very humbling to recognize that Christ's sacrifice for us was made solely out of that same intense feeling of love for each one of us

Love you all!

A little update

Whoo-wee! Gosh a lot has happened since the last time I posted! I don't exactly know where to start!

Let's see. Premal and I went on a little retreat to the mountains where we enjoyed our first real Colorado snow of the season. Then, Momo and I drove to New Haven where I exchanged my mother for Glorianna, Kimber the babies at which point we might have driven to Montreal--we heard it was lovely this time of year. After our journey north we stopped back through CT where we caught a disappointing football game, made a fire and picked up a couple of stragglers. Then, we headed south of the Mason Dixon Line where we enjoyed one of the merriest turkey-days we've had in a long while, played an epic game of Yankee Trader, and got into a fight with a bear. THEN Momo and I picked up three tiny traveling companions and headed back West. We added approximately 4,600 miles to Momo's Camry, listened to an inhumane number of children's CDs, and somewhere along the way, it seems Premal and I became home owners.

Mea Culpa



Over the past few weeks, I've become terribly overwhelmed by everything in particular. It's been one of those little periods in life where I have so many good, productive things to do that I've concluded the best course of action is to hide under my desk and avoid them all (please see attached image). That's not really an excuse for rampant unproductivity and shirking any and all responsibility, but it is sort of an explanation. I'm sorry in general. No. Mostly, I'm sorry Charity. You are indefatigable. your efforts to motivate me have been thoughtful, varied, and occasionally threatening. I really do appreciate them, even if I haven't made that apparent. You deserve an award. Maybe something bronzed -- like a quill pen or a pair of children's booties. I was going to send this note to you alone, and then I realized you'd be happier if I just wrote a blog post. But I still wanted to apologize (and had already mostly written this), so I just decided to combine them.

I'll do better.

I promise.

Smack me next time I get like this.

Ok?

Ok.

What to Give for #GivingTuesday

Here are a few ideas:

International Committee of the Red Cross. They help people all over the world. Maybe you want to direct your funds to relief in the Philippines. If you want something closer to home, the American Red Cross is doing a lot for folks who were victims on last month's tornadoes.

If you want a group that runs a tight ship, try Airline Ambassadors. It was started by my friend Nancy Rivard, a gorgeous, brilliant flight attendant who wanted to give back as she traveled around the world.  They transport goods and people through donated buddy passes to places in need. THey also are at the forefront of the movement to stop human trafficking. They collaborate with everyone from LDS Charities to CGI.

Which bring me to LDS Charities. Minimal overhead. They use volunteers in the area to distribute goods and are focused on helping people achieve self sufficiency by teach subsistence farming and literacy in Africa, Asia, South and Central America.

Catholic Relief Services is one of the oldest and most integrated relief agencies in the world. I know a number of people who have worked with them over the years and they're top flight folks. They are literally everywhere and they work with the least among us, day in and out.

There are SO many worthy organizations, I could literally go on all week about them. But if you're our of cash and want to do something good, sign up to be an organ donor. Donate Life will show you what you need to do. You don't give anything til you literally have nothing left to give and when your life is over, you can save up to nine lives, you can give sight and help many more with tissue donation.